Richard Orlowski - Man on a Mission

The national team coach of Anguilla, newly installed as the official worst team in the world, has something of a story.  Born in Poland as Ryszard Orlowski, he fled his homeland in 1984 amidst the political repression of the communist era and escaped to Austria.  Subsequently, he was granted refugee status in the United States and made a new life for himself – with a new, anglicised first name - in New York City and then Pennsylvania.  
 
As a player, he was a striker in his native Poland but has become more renowned as a coach being part of a Polish-American duo helping Nepal to a famous win over India.  ‘I am very happy and proud of this new chapter in my life,’ he said. ‘The country is surrounded by beautiful beaches, amazing weather, and best of all, friendly people.  The Anguillan team is decent, but it needs improvement.  This is why I was brought in as head coach.  My job and responsibility is to bring this country’s football to the next level.  I am always one to take a challenge head on and will not back down from achieving my goals.  I create a very good atmosphere and relationship between the players and myself.  In football this is very important.’
 
‘I have a great challenge here in Anguilla but I have faith in the players.  I know they have potential and I am here to help them achieve something great.’  He has already had some measure of success with Anguilla, leading them to a pair of wins over the British Virgin Islands and St Martin; Anguilla’s first wins for several years. 
 
Sadly for Anguilla, the clash with St Martin was against a non-FIFA team and so had no bearing on their ranking.  Likewise the two games against the British Virgin Islands weren’t officially recognised fixtures.  A boost for morale they may have been but they counted for nought in terms of their ranking.
 
‘It means nothing to me,’ he said of the bottom ranking.  ‘We’ve had some bad luck in the past, there’s no denying.  But now we play in the present.  So whoever says that Anguilla don’t have a chance, I say to them: “This is football and anything can happen.”’
 
‘I want to make this a winning team by challenging the players to believe in themselves,’ he added.  It will be a tough challenge, but in Orlowski they have a man with the pedigree and desire to help them push on and try to rise up the rankings once more.
 

Welcome Back Anguilla

The tiny island of Anguilla, a territory of the United Kingdom, may be one of the first listed FIFA members alphabetically, but once again they are now the last listed in the ranking meritocracy.  Having  been absent for almost four years Anguilla are once again firmly ensconced as the official worst team in the world after Bhutan’s rise last month.
 
This will be Anguilla’s eighth spell as the worst in the world and will see the tiny island territory add to its currently tally of 48 months ranked at the bottom of the world. 
 
‘It means nothing to me,’ said the Polish-born national team coach Richard Orlowski to FIFA.com recently – while his team were one place ahead of Bhutan.  ‘We’ve had some bad luck in the past, there’s no denying.  But now we play in the present.  So whoever says that Anguilla don’t have a chance, I say to them: “This is football and anything can happen.”’
 
Anguilla, at the northern edge of the Leeward Islands, is considered a paradise of tropical beauty and seductive calm even among the rich pickings of the Caribbean.  ‘It may be a small island, but these guys have the biggest hearts I’ve ever seen,’ Orlowski added referring to his team of amateurs, who combine international football with careers as construction workers, bankers, teachers and boat builders.  ‘They leave work early to train and some even risk getting less pay.  I feel so much pride when I see them come out on the pitch, how much they juggle in their lives.’
 
On four previous occasions Anguilla have spent a solitary month at the bottom of the world - in May 1997, February 1998, July 1998 and November 1988 - before a swift return for a two-month spell in early 1999 and a four month stint at the turn of the century.  These were all under the old rankings calculations, and under those initial methods they remained clear of the basement for another six years before the current system was introduced in July 2006.  They spent another single month at the bottom at that stage before another lengthy absence.
 
But come April 2008 Anguilla slumped to the bottom once more, and this time there would be no quick escape.  For the next thirty-seven publications of the world rankings, Anguilla would remain rooted to the bottom, taking them up to May 2011.  That was when their last significant result took them clear.
 
The points gained that day have gradually dwindled away, and even had Bhutan not risen from the bottom so spectacularly earlier this year, Anguilla would have joined them in last place once their remaining points vanished.  That would have been by June this year.  Their renewed status as worst in the world has therefore only been ushered in slightly ahead of schedule.
 
Looking ahead, Anguilla will obviously have no more World Cup action to look focus on.  There will be the 2016 Caribbean Cup for which the qualifiers will  hopefully see Anguilla back in action, but there are no dates set for those qualifiers as of yet.  It’s possible that the opening qualifiers would take place later this year, but could be early next year instead.  It is unlikely that we would see Anguilla in official action ahead of that tournament so it looks like a potentially barren few months for the WITW.

Bhutan Hit the Heights, Anguilla Fall

After their successful World Cup qualification matches against Sri Lanka, with wins both home and away, Bhutan’s rise from the foot of the world rankings has been confirmed in the latest FIFA rankings.
 
The fact that their results came in World Cup competition and against a significantly higher ranked opponent has led to Bhutan earning a whopping 128 rankings points for their exploits.  From a stone-cold zero beforehand they can no wallow in the untold riches of such a total.  It has seen them rise from 209th position to a frankly startling 163rd on FIFA’s world rankings. 
 
This is simply the most stunning rise from the doldrums that the Worst in the World has ever seen.  They are now ranked some 32 places above their erstwhile opponents Sri Lanka and had in fact risen to such an extent that they bypassed the lowest seeding pot for the second round of Asian World Cup qualifying and landed in pot 4.  This has earned them a second round group alongside China, Qatar, Maldives and Hong Kong, and an unprecedented set of fixtures to fulfil over the course of the next year.
 
Falling to the bottom, and replacing Bhutan as our new worst in the world, is the tiny British Overseas Territory of Anguilla.  They had the chance to avoid this fate in their opening round World Cup play off with Nicaragua recently, but unsurprisingly, given the relative sizes of the two countries, Nicaragua won both legs.  That meant Anguilla couldn’t avoid the slump to the basement in spite of having a couple of ranking points to their name.

Anguilla outgunned by Nicaragua to seal fall to Worst in the World

It’s confirmed then.  Anguilla lost both of their CONCACAF zone playoff matches with Nicaragua to consign themselves to a drop to the foot of the next world rankings table and the unwanted label as the worst national team in the world.

The first leg was away in the Dennis Martinez National Stadium in Managua, where the hosts, sitting at 175th in the world rankings, made short work of the islanders.  It took only twelve minutes for Luis Galeano to break the deadlock, and by half-time it was a comfortable 4-0., with the match and the tie effectively over already.  That first leg ended 5-0, which was something of a small comfort for Anguilla who mist has feared a more brutal beating.

With their World Cup hopes as good as over after the first match, all that remained was the chance to at least grab a draw in the return leg to avoid the bottom of the rankings, sending the Cook Islands to the bottom instead.

World Cup Qualifier: Bhutan 2-1 Sri Lanka (3-1 aggregate)

Tuesday 17th March 2015
World Cup Asian Zone Round One Second Leg
Changlimithang Stadium, Thimphu, Bhutan

Bhutan 2-1 Sri Lanka (3-1 aggregate)

Oh my word.  It doesn’t rain, it pours.  Bhutan’s World Cup record now stands at a magnificent two wins out of two matches played all-time, still a 100% record.  Two goals from defender Chencho Gyeltshen, the second of which came as the match reached stoppage time in a dramatic conclusion, has seen Bhutan knock Sri Lanka out of the World Cup and qualify for the first group stage of Asian qualifying.  There they will come up against four other teams, with their seeded opponent potentially being one of Asia’s real powers: Japan, Australia, South Korea or Iran.  I’m giddy at the prospect…

World Cup Qualifier: Bhutan v. Sri Lanka

Tuesday 17th March 2015
World Cup Asian Zone Round One Second Leg
Changlimithang Stadium, Thimpu, Bhutan

After their seismic and historic victory in the first leg last Thursday, Bhutan’s soon-to-be no longer worst in the world national team take on Sri Lanka again in the second leg for a place in the first group stage of Asian World Cup qualifying.  They bring a 1-0 lead with them from the away leg in Colombo and will be defending a couple of 100% records in the return match.

Bhutan, having never played in the World Cup before last week, have won all (just the one) of their World Cup matches in history – the only country in the world who can claim that!  They do also have a 100% record at their home ground in Thimpu in official international fixtures having won all three of their previous FIFA sanctioned home matches.
 

World Cup Qualifier: Sri Lanka 0-1 Bhutan

Thursday 12th March 2015
World Cup Asian Zone Round One First Leg
Sugathadasa Stadium, Colombo, Sri Lanka

Sri Lanka 0-1 Bhutan

As if San Marino’s stunning draw last November weren’t unlikely and exciting enough for us here at the Worst in the World, now the sole remaining last-placed team have only gone and won.  Bhutan now have the only 100% record in World Cup football history, having played once and won once.  Not a bad World Cup debut by any stretch of the imagination, and even more so for the team ranked as the worst in the world.

The historic goal came from midfielder Tshering Dorji eight minutes from time, to grab a fabulous victory and leave Bhutan in with a real chance of progressing through to the second round where the likes of Japan, Australia and South Korea could await.  That scary thought can wait for another day though as there is the small matter of the second leg to negotiate – I’m just getting a little carried away.  But having secured this win, and a nice away goal with it, Bhutan must feel confident ahead of facing Sri Lanka back in the high altitude and cooler temperatures of Thimpu.

World Cup Qualifier: Sri Lanka v. Bhutan

Thursday 12th March 2015
World Cup Asian Zone Round One First Leg
Sugathadasa Stadium, Colombo, Sri Lanka

Bhutan begin their first ever World Cup campaign on Thursday with an away match against a Sri Lanka side ranked 36 places above them.  Coming down from the high Himalayas, they Druk XI will have to adapt not only to a higher ranked opposition, but also to being rather lower at sea level in Sri Lanka’s palm-fringed coastal capital.  It will also likely be rather warmer than they are used to.

In a bid to acclimatise, Bhutan have spent the build-up at a training camp in Thailand where temperatures have hit 38 degrees. "We have made good use of the time we had, spending a couple of weeks in Bangkok, that has really helped us to adapt to the weather and the heat," Bhutan's skipper Karma Shedrup Tshering said on YouTube. "We are expecting to win, but you never know in the game of football so we just go there, give our best," added the 28-year-old midfielder.
 

Bhutan’s World Cup Odyssey Set for Kick Off

The draw for the opening round of Asian qualification for the 2018 World Cup has been made, accounting for the weakest twelve countries in the Asian Confederation, which of course includes our current lone Worst in the World; Bhutan.
 
The set of home and away fixtures see Bhutan pitted against Sri Lanka, a team ranked 37 places higher than them in the world rankings, sitting in 172nd place, or 36th in Asia compared to Bhutan’s 46th.  Of all the possible opponents at this stage (the best 6 of the twelve teams at this stage), only India are higher ranked than Sri Lanka so it’s fair to say that Bhutan haven’t been overly fortunate in the opponent they’ve been drawn against.
 
Asian qualification is doubling up as Asian Cup qualification this time around, which sounds odd considering the last Asian Cup Finals has only just finished in Australia, but it’s to prevent the past issues of meaningless qualifying rounds to find the 16 Asian Cup finalist and to include all Asian nations in that process; something that hasn’t been the case for the past few tournaments.
 
Thoughts of reaching either the 2018 World Cup or the 2019 Asian Cup will be far from the minds of the Bhutanese though I imagine.  It’s all about respectability, and of course the opportunity to escape the foot of the FIFA rankings.  Should they avoid defeat in either of the two matches with Sri Lanka, we face the prospect of the team at the foot of the rankings having a points total above zero, as Anguilla would become the worst in the world with a couple of points to their name (until the summer at least, when those points would be expunged from the record). 
 
But that’s all for the near future.  For now, Bhutan must organise themselves to face Sri Lanka, a team they have faced five times before without too much success, although the defeats haven’t all been too heavy, and as recently as 18 months ago Bhutan managed a couple of goals against Sri Lanka.
 
4th April 2006                      AFC Challenge Cup          Chittagong (Bangladesh)              Lost 0-1
6th June 2008                      SAFF Championship        Colombo (Sri Lanka)                        Lost 0-2
6th December 2009          SAFF Championship        Dhaka (Bangladesh)                        Lost 0-6
3rd December 2011          SAFF Championship        New Delhi (India)                             Lost 0-3
6th September 2013         SAFF Championship        Kathmandu (Nepal)                        Lost 2-5
 
The 2008 SAFF Championship encounter in the group stages of that tournament was actually a clash between the two top teams in that group, with Bhutan recording a win against Afghanistan and a draw with Bangladesh to reach the semi finals.  The might of India beat them at that stage, but only after extra time.  Heady days.
 
If there is to be a crumb of comfort for Bhutan it can surely be found in the fact that they have yet to suffer defeat or even to concede a goal when playing at home in the Changlimithang Stadium in Thimpu.  Incredibly this unlikely statistic for a team that is the worst in the world is true, but makes a little more sense when you realise that they have only played at home three times.  It is yet to be confirmed where these matches will take place, but a home tie in the second leg in an enticing prospect.
 
Home Record in Changlimithang Stadium, Thimpu:
 
30th June 2002                    Friendly (The Other Final)            Montserrat                         Won 4-0
23rd April 2003                    AFC Cup Qualifier                             Guam                                    Won 6-0
27th April 2003                    AFC Cup Qualifier                             Mongolia                             Drew 0-0
 
The full set of fixtures for the AFC 2018 World Cup/2019 AFC Asian Cup Qualifying Round 1 are as follows:
(Ties to be played Thursday 12th March and Tuesday 17th March 2015)
 
India v. Nepal
Yemen v. Pakistan
Timor-Leste v. Mongolia
Cambodia v. Macau
Chinese Taipei v. Brunei Darussalam
Sri Lanka v. Bhutan
 
The winners will progress to Round 2 where they will be joined by the remaining 34 Asian nations to compete in eight groups of five.  The eight group winners and the four best runners-up will progress to the final qualifying round and also to the 2019 Asian Cup Finals.
 

Worst in the World Hall of Fame – Aldo Simoncini

With the recent successful exploits of the San Marino team in grabbing a 0-0 draw with Estonia which saw them rise from the pits of global football despair known as the foot of the FIFA world rankings to the giddy heights of somewhere not far above the bottom, also known as joint 180th, it seemed appropriate to reward the most prominent hero of that achievement in a Hall of Fame.

The inaugural inductee into the newly formed World in the World Hall of Fame is the San Marino goalkeeper Aldo Simoncini, whose string of fine saves that had kept scores low in previous matches now saw San Marino claim a first ever competitive clean sheet.

Simoncini, a 28 year old semi professional who also moonlights as an accountant, has something of an interesting back story.  As a teenager he played for Modena in Italy’s Serie B, a level only the great Massimo Bonini once of Juventus has exceeded as a Sammarinese, and was highly rated.  But his dreams of making it into the professional ranks were ended by a terrible car accident after which he was unsure of even playing the game again, let alone climbing to higher levels.  At the time the doctors weren’t even sure he’d be able to walk normally again.